The Texas Bible: Sexually explicit and violent

Seriously Texas, don’t you cowpokes down there have anything to do besides dictating every aspect of people’s lives? The ridiculously named business-friendly Texas wants to join their sister Fascist state of Florida in a race to have the populace goose step to the legislation march of dictatorial bullshit.

Think about it. Who would want to be a teacher or doctor in the knuckle-dragging states of Texas and Florida? The fascist Republican state legislators in many states are going out of their way to control the populace as if they are their personal corral of branded cattle. I guess I shouldn’t be giving these mentally deranged GOP Hitler wannabes any ideas.

Now comes the newest thing out of the Lonefart State. A new law that the people of Texas could live without, probably since way before John Wayne, Richard Widmark, and Laurence Harvey took a bullet at the Alamo. They want book manufacturers to rate every book sold in the state because what’s a person to do if they’re left scratching their heads over whether or not books like To Kill a Mockingbird, The Cat in the Hat, Oliver Twist, or War of the Worlds trying to figure out if they have sexually deviant and violent undertones.

And Math books are filled with sexually explicit fractions, additions, subtractions, and divisions, especially for younger students. Will they slap an adult rating when they see that one plus one equals two and think they are promoting sex between two of the citizenry? Or that two plus three is really promoting sex orgies?

Do they think Fifty Shades of Grey might be a coloring book because anything is possible when you live in the dark ages?

I guess the people in the legislature were taking a break from and had gotten bored masturbating to or fellating their head furher, Adolf Abbott.

The Texas Tribune:

If HB 900 passes into law, book vendors would have to assign ratings to books based on the presence of depictions or references to sex. A book would get a “sexually relevant” rating if the material describes or portrays sexual activity and is part of the required school curriculum. A book would get a “sexually explicit” rating if the material describing or portraying sexual behavior is “patently offensive” and not part of required curriculum. State law defines “patently offensive” as materials that are an affront to “current community standards of decency.”Books with a “sexually explicit” rating would be removed from library bookshelves. And students who want to check out books with a “sexually relevant” rating would have to get parental permission first.

I suggest the first book with a sexually explicit and violent label be The Bible. It’s chock full of deviant sex, sacrificing newborns, and worshipping Golden Idols. And Lord, the parting of the Red Sea by a warlock sorcerer? Do you really want your children reading that shit?

This idiotic rule was proposed by someone name Cindi Castilla, who obviously leads a very empty life and needs to go out and get laid. Or something. Maybe giving herself the five-finger discount occasionally would ease the tension. There aren’t many left, but a few people in Texas are roaming around with some common sense. This woman has been a librarian for 17 years and has not until now needed the Texas Chapter of Red Cloaked Putrified Handmaidens to tell her how to do her job.

Lucy Podmore has been a school librarian for 17 years in San Antonio. Every school year, she buys more than 1,200 books for her students from multiple vendors. Podmore said the ratings would create “unreasonable obstacles” for book vendors. If HB 900 is passed, she said the bill’s requirements would slow down her book purchases. Librarians like Podmore are at the center of the bill. “How feasible is it for the hundreds of vendors used in Texas to retroactively offer ratings on these items before librarians are allowed to purchase new materials from them?” Podmore asked lawmakers during committee testimony. “I urge you to not impede the ability of school librarians to serve their students.”

I’ll leave with this suggestion for Texas and solve their problems.  They want to keep their kids uneducated and never knowing or understanding sex so why don’t they pass a law ordering the boys and girls to be neutered or spaded in whatever manner deemed necessary.  Problem solved.

In the meantime, it’s the first anniversary of the shooting in Uvalde where 19 students and two teachers were shot and killed.  But at least Texans can feel safe knowing it’s okay to read Green Eggs and Ham.